


Broken Wings

by orphan_account



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Depression, Despair, Escape, F/F, F/M, Gen, Multi, Psychological Torture, Purgatory, Suicidal Thoughts, Time Loop, Time Travel, What Have I Done, had enough, i am done, this is enough
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:48:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23260477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Trapped in a never-ending loop, Sidona Lavellan is now at her breaking point. She did all she could to break out of it, but nothing was working. She did everything she thought was right and then everything she knew was wrong; she even killed Solas. So why…?WHY CAN’T I
Relationships: Female Lavellan/Cullen Rutherford, Female Lavellan/Josephine Montilyet, Female Lavellan/Sera, Female Lavellan/Solas, Iron Bull/Female Lavellan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	Broken Wings

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING!! This is not for those with depression and/or suicidal thoughts.

Broken Wings

Ω

Trapped in a never-ending loop, Sidona Lavellan is now at her breaking point. She did all she could to break out of it, but nothing was working. She did everything she thought was right and then everything she knew was wrong; she even killed Solas. So why…?

WHY CAN’T I

Disclaimer: I do not own the Dragon Age Franchise Series nor do I own the image below

Ω

Sidona remembered taking the orb from Corypheus before banishing him into the fade. She recalled the levitating building beginning to fall as she made sure to tuck the orb close to her, protecting it. Then, when the rubble cleared and the orb was intact, she recalled the horrified look that graced Solas’ face. It almost made her laugh, but the joke was on her. Her plan to take down the veil herself, right then and there, had backfired. It unleashed not only the Evanuris, but the other old, malicious gods that were locked away with them…and the void…

Once more, her eyes flew open, seeing that same wet cellar floor and freezing temperature. Her wrists restricted by the shackles, and five familiar shadows in the room, guarding over her.

“She is awake. Get Seeker Cassandra and Sister Leliana!” One of them ordered and the fastest of them rushed out, running up the stairs, disappearing.

Sidona shook her head. “No… not again…”

They drew their swords. “Don’t try anything, murderer!” The guards warned her, but she hardly cared.

Her mind started spiraling as she counted how many times has it been? She had thought for sure that that plan was going to work. That it was finally going to break the loop, but no matter what she did, no matter what she chose or who fucked, it didn’t matter!

She started to sob.

Once more, the mark flared wildly, matching her racing heart and contorting emotions. The light show startled the guards as they took some steps backwards, fearing for the unknown.

Before she knew it, she was screaming. She was screaming everything out. A cry of agony and despair that pierced the air as it carried out from the cellar, thundering the walls of the Chantry, before echoing out into the blizzard. She didn’t stop. She kept crying and screaming even when it felt like her throat was starting to bleed. She hardly felt it as she was overwhelmed by the growing pit of darkness that was swallowing her soul and drowning her senses. She wanted to die, but even the Maker and the Gods deny her that. She wanted out. She wanted-

Then a sharp pain struck her across her left cheek, stunning her temporarily. The stinging sensation distracted her from the ache in her chest as she slowly came back to her senses.

They were blurry at first, but she saw her savior was Cassandra, out of all people.

“…Can you hear me now?” She asked in a voice so firm and gentle that it was unusual.

Sidona had found herself now across the cellar room and against the stone wall, trembling slightly. The Seeker was kneeling down in front of her, holding her arms tightly---her hands no longer bounded. Leliana was kneeling as well, right by her, studying the Dalish. No… Elf… Sidona remembered she was barefaced now. The Spymaster was probably trying to evaluate how sane she was.

“Can you stand…?” Cassandra tried again, and Sidona realized she hasn’t answered.

“I… I can…” Her voice was now hoarse and sore. How long had she been screaming?

Cassandra stood up and pulled me up to my feet, whether or not the elf had placed any effort in doing so. Honestly, she just wanted to say on the ground and be buried six feet under if they could make it happen.

“Go to the forward camp, Leliana… I will take her to the rift.”

Leliana gave the elf a glance over who hardly reacted over the suggestion before turning to the Seeker. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. Now go.” She said.

Uncertain but with no choice, Leliana headed out of the cellar first.

It was quiet between them before Cassandra started to bind her wrists with the rope. Sidona didn’t resist and she followed quietly, her body still shaking as the story began progressing again. It just slapped her awake and used Cassandra to make her start moving.

They were soon out of cellar and then exited through the Chantry doors.

Sidona tuned out everything then. It was the same dialogue over and over. She let this dream continue without her before it would use Cassandra to shake her, demanding some sort of response.

“I… I’ll try…so long as you kill me after this…”

My request startled her then her eyes narrowed dangerously. “So, you _were_ responsible.”

In a way she was… she picked up the orb and she unlocked it accidentally, causing the explosion.

“…Yes.”

She could see the rage boiling in the Seeker’s eyes and she was hoping now that the warrior-man will stab her with her righteous blade. Unfortunately, the seeker had more control and sense over her actions as she just merely dragged the elf through Haven. The Seeker didn’t even stop the people of Haven from throwing rocks at her, and one nicked her at the brow, causing her to fall. The sharp rock cut her above her brow, but the seeker didn’t care. She just forced the Dalish to her feet and kept pulling her.

Sidona gladly followed in the silence and the darkness settling on her chest. Oddly enough, the sharp painful thresholds of the mark comforted her, easing the misery.

Before she knew it, they had fallen through the broken bridge.

“Stay behind me!”

Sidona just stayed on the ice on her knees when she saw a lesser shade rising out from the bubbling glop of fade goo left over from the crash. It was coming right for her, and the elf contemplated for a moment…

However, taking it down was never really in her blood. Not once did she stood still to let a demon attack her so easily.

She rose reluctantly to her feet, lightning running in her eyes. As soon as the creature raised its claws, she threw her palm, overcharged with thousands of bolts, at the demon.

In an instant, he was cooked, frying into nothing but ashes.

When it faded, the Seeker had already finished the first demon. She whirled around to come for her, but stopped when she saw the prisoner had easily incinerated it.

Sidona lowered her hands, letting the magic go.

Cassandra gave her strange look as she stood there for a very long time in a defensive stance.

“…Your magic… why haven’t you tried to kill me?” She demanded. That power just now was not normal.

Sidona with a blank expression tilted her head to the side. “…What do you mean?”

“…That magic isn’t normal.” The Seeker said as she approached the prisoner now. She then used her ability to lower and restrain the mana in her, but when she tried, she found that it seemed to be endless. Was it because of the mark? It didn’t make any sense.

“…You could just slice my head off right now.” Sidona spoke.

Again, she startled the seeker. “…You are very eager to die.”

“…I’m tired…” she said. “I am simply…tired.”

“But you didn’t let that demon kill you,” Cassandra pointed out. “It had the chance to kill you.”

Sidona raised her head at that. “True… why didn’t I…? Ha… maybe because I have to close that breach, at the very least, before I go…”

“You’re not going anywhere after this,” Cassandra said.

“You know I meant dying, right?”

“I won’t let that happen.” The Seeker said. “As I promised, you will stand in trial for your crime, Murderer.”

Sidona sighed wearily. “…Then so be it. Shall we continue?”

They continued on the path and Sidona reluctantly assisted Cassandra in flanking some demons, and killing the wraiths from a distance. She only needed to do a wave of her hand. The mark sparked again painfully, but pain was becoming a more preferable companion than the growing darkness in her heart.

“—You can hear the fighting!”

There were many times before in the previous timelines where she dreaded meeting Solas, after knowing he was Fen’Harel all this time. Her throat would start constricting her from breathing as anxiety and fear suffocated her… However, that was before. After several times, it can get extremely stale. It went to a point where she had exposed Solas and even got Cassandra to kill him. Unfortunately, that only made her restart from the beginning again. It sucked.

Once they got there, Sidona decided to get it done quickly.

She merely had to wave her hand and the lightning from her fingertips shot out, targeting only the demons and stunning them effectively. Without Solas’ help, she reached out with her marked hand and connected to the rift.

In one swift tug, she closed the rift and the blast killed off the remaining demons instantly. The fight was over in seconds.

“You closed the rift.” Solas stated in a matter of fact, but also in disbelief, probably not understanding how a barefaced Dalish like her was able to use the mark so easily and even more astonishingly, sealing the rift like he had only asked her to clap twice.

“Yes.” She said.

He opened his mouth, but then closed it again. She definitely rendered him speechless. He’s not even following up his dialogue.

Varric was about to start his tailored introduction, and right now, Sidona didn't care to listen for it--a hundredth time now?

 _Sorry Varric..._ She thought guiltily. She just wanted this life done and over with.

Without even letting the dwarf finish, she turned to Cassandra and said, “Well, Seeker, now that we know I can close the rift. Let’s go see if it works on the Breach. Shall we?”

Varric fell quiet, probably was never ignored like that, but she knew there would be no hard feelings…eventually.

Cassandra was also taken back by the prisoner’s attitude but she wasn’t wrong.

“Yes. Let’s.”

Sidona walked away first, and the rest just stared at her, noticing how small her back is with the unfit armor she wore.

“Well… Bianca’s excited.” Varric commented with a bit of lackluster.

Quickly, they caught up to her pace and followed her.

Ω

Ω

Note: I do not own nor did I create this image.


End file.
